Cultural Conversation 6 - Sex
Assignment 6: Your Experience of Conflict Involving Sexual Practice
Robert Heinlein used to say that everybody lies about sex. Well, I certainly have, and I know that I believe others have lied to me about sex, so it’s difficult for me say anything that doesn’t stink of deception in one way or another.
I’ll give you an example. I was around nine or ten when I first started approaching other boys for sex. Since I was attracted to women (girls, really) as well, I assumed that I was some sort of pervert; I didn’t have the language to adequately express what I was feeling sexually.
I would like to point out that if the thought of a nine or ten year old boy approaching others for sex doesn’t strike terror into you, it should. Those I approached were interested in experimenting, but I remember clearly being frustrated that they would not go as far as I wanted to go. I was very lucky not to fall into the hands of a pedophile.
This behavior continued into Jr. High School, when I ran into someone who was not interested at all in my advances. After that, it got around that I was a fag, (though I didn’t actually suffer any consequences from these rumors until later in high school), and I stopped approaching others for sexual contact until after high school.
There was a young man in our class, who I had a passing acquaintance with (he was a fellow cub scout in earlier years), whose behavior and speech were what we would call today flaming, or to use the more accurate but somehow more pejorative term, effeminate.
I never thought of approaching him; that would have made me a fag (or so my reasoning went, flawed as it was). I remember clearly that he tried out for the cheerleading squad in 7th grade, and I remember being in the stands of the auditorium where the tryouts took place (the student body being required to vote for whom the cheerleaders would be).
I also remember, with a clarity undiminished by time, of how much I made fun of him, along with the others around me in the stands.
How much braver he was than I, I still can’t adequately express.
Robert Heinlein used to say that everybody lies about sex. Well, I certainly have, and I know that I believe others have lied to me about sex, so it’s difficult for me say anything that doesn’t stink of deception in one way or another.
I’ll give you an example. I was around nine or ten when I first started approaching other boys for sex. Since I was attracted to women (girls, really) as well, I assumed that I was some sort of pervert; I didn’t have the language to adequately express what I was feeling sexually.
I would like to point out that if the thought of a nine or ten year old boy approaching others for sex doesn’t strike terror into you, it should. Those I approached were interested in experimenting, but I remember clearly being frustrated that they would not go as far as I wanted to go. I was very lucky not to fall into the hands of a pedophile.
This behavior continued into Jr. High School, when I ran into someone who was not interested at all in my advances. After that, it got around that I was a fag, (though I didn’t actually suffer any consequences from these rumors until later in high school), and I stopped approaching others for sexual contact until after high school.
There was a young man in our class, who I had a passing acquaintance with (he was a fellow cub scout in earlier years), whose behavior and speech were what we would call today flaming, or to use the more accurate but somehow more pejorative term, effeminate.
I never thought of approaching him; that would have made me a fag (or so my reasoning went, flawed as it was). I remember clearly that he tried out for the cheerleading squad in 7th grade, and I remember being in the stands of the auditorium where the tryouts took place (the student body being required to vote for whom the cheerleaders would be).
I also remember, with a clarity undiminished by time, of how much I made fun of him, along with the others around me in the stands.
How much braver he was than I, I still can’t adequately express.
Labels: Sex, Sexual Identity
posted by javaapp@gmail.com | 12:42 PM
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