Cultural Conversations 2 - Conflict and Ethnicity

Assignment 2: Your Experience of Conflict and Ethnicity

It is one thing to understand that in the course of life conflicts erupt. It is quite another to be exposed to those ideas, although archaic and taboo, still exist below the surface of our daily lives.

To be exposed to these ideas is at once frightening and illuminating, for such revelations have the quality of initiation into a larger world. Inasmuch as the idea of an invisible or essential world underlies many of our most basic assumptions, so does the unveiling of such behavior act as a symbol; the microcosm reveal the macrocosm and confirms in the same moment that others willingly enslave us to their idea of the Other.

To understand that for some you are the ‘other’ confirms that you exist at the very least on the level upon which you are identified, and if you are now the enemy, at least you are not completely invisible.

For myself, I do not recall being referred to in the terms of a racial epithet until quite late in life – I was 25 or so. I had been entering a freeway, and sought to overtake a car travelling in front of me. The other driver observed my maneuver, and struck the rear of my car lightly with his front fender.

We pulled off into a nearby parking lot, where I was confronted with the spectacle of an angry man in his sixties, referring to me as a “Jew” and dirty, in addition to the more common pejoratives.

The situation seemed so ludicrous that I laughed in his face, but it was at the same time fundamentally unsettling. Eventually I got back in my car and drove off, my vehicle having sustained no damage.

Such experiences in no way match those who suffer from constant prejudice. But I am aware that my ethnicity is puzzling to some, and sometimes I aware of others’ curiosity about it, even when they don’t speak of it directly.

To imagine such expectations and prejudices following one around constantly seems maddening. I can only imagine that it is.

Cultural Conversation 1 - Your Family’s Geographic Origins

Assignment 1: Your Family’s Geographic Origins

My mother’s family is a late arrival in South Texas – 1925 or so. There are rumors that this has to do with a black sheep of the original family that had travelled here from Alpine, near El Paso. The family had been inhabitants (or so I am told) of that area from before the Anglos came in the 1820’s and 30’s.

My maternal grandfather came from Northern Mexico, emigrating quite early in his youth. The lines came together in a small town called East Barnard (affectionately know as East Barnyard), some forty-five miles from Houston.

My father’s family originates in Britain and came to the US sometime in the late 1800’s, settling in Indiana. They remained there until the early part of this century, when they too came to the East Barnard area.

My Mother’s family spoke very little Spanish at home; conversation, as a general rule, took place in English. Though unstated, assimilation was the goal, a reflection of the belief that success in life depended on speaking English like a native. The three sisters who survived childbirth (out of five, we believe) attended nursing school or college. This was where my Mother and Father met.

I remember my first maternal family reunion very clearly. It took place at my Aunt’s home, there were many relatives there I that I did not remember meeting before. I remember distinctly being surprised at both the speech and the hue of my distant relatives. Why were they so dark? When I asked my mother who they were she had to go to some length to explain that these people were my family.

Today, when people ask ‘what’ I am, I usually reply in an evasive manner. I certainly don’t feel Hispanic or Chicano. At the same time, neither do I feel comfortable thinking of myself as ‘white’, whatever that means.
The best answer I can give, the one that is most true, is that I am not white. Bi-racial or multi-ethnic don’t cut it, for some reason. I find it more truthful to define myself through negation than assert some more formal identity.

Cultural Conversations - Introduction

Over the next ten days, I will be posting a series of short essays that deal with conflict and culture. These essays were prompted by my attendance in a American Literature class, which focused on works from Colonial times to the post-Civil War era.

In general, our instructor (Dr. Holly Masturzo of the University of Houston) would ask us to write on a particular topic, which would also be connected to some work we were currently discussing in class. Many of my responses were of an intensely personal nature. I invite you to share your own experiences through your response to my work.